Millennial Voices ‘Taboo Opinion’ on Kids, Sparks Fierce Debate Online

A Reddit user has turned to the internet to share their honest opinion on starting a family.

The November 20 post titled: “I honestly don’t think having kids is worth it anymore,” has racked up 22,000 upvotes.

User yourgreatestgift, who is in their late twenties, states parenthood seems “like an endless cycle of stress, sacrifice, and barely keeping your head above water.”

They explain how their friends with kids are “exhausted,” have money problems, and regret how much they gave up as their life doesn’t feel like their own anymore.

“Meanwhile, the ones who chose not to have kids are traveling, pursuing passions, and genuinely seem happier,” they wrote. “I get it, kids can be a source of joy, but I don’t think that joy outweighs the struggles anymore—not in this economy, not in this world.”

Newsweek reached out to u/yourgreatestgift for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Indeed, data from 2023 reveals there has been a decline in birth rates for women aged 20–39 years old and more specifically, the birth rate for women aged 20-24 has reached a record low, according to the CDC.

Those who choose not to bring a baby into the world are often deemed as “selfish”; however, the poster said: “I think it’s more selfish to bring kids into a life where you can’t give them 100%.”

They conclude the post by admitting: “It’s hard to say this out loud because it’s such a taboo opinion, but I’m tired of pretending like everyone’s life path has to look the same. For me, I just don’t see the appeal anymore.”

‘No Wonder People Are Struggling’

Newsweek discussed the post with registered psychotherapist Siobhan Chirico, based in Burlington, Ontario. She explained that there have been “massive cultural and societal shifts in parenting” over the last few decades.

She said: “The job description has exploded from keeping kids safe and fed, attending school, and feeling loved to ensuring that your child is the best at everything and has the best of everything—or you’re a terrible parent. The pressure that people feel around their job as parents is completely overwhelming.

“The Reddit post captures this feeling, since when did we, as a society, start demanding that parents give kids 100 percent of themselves? No wonder people are struggling.”

Parenting styles where parents allow their children to do what they want with little guidance or structure is to blame, states Chirico, who described it as “exhausting.”

While “economic pressure is real,” Chirico argues that social pressure drives some financial expectations and fears.

She told Newsweek: “Having kids is expensive, but there is room for flexibility. The rise of social media has created a constant comparison for families, which feels crippling at times. The story in our current climate seems to be that if I can’t afford to buy my child the coolest clothes, games or concert tickets, I am not only a bad parent but that my kids are ‘suffering.’ This is a story that we have been told and that we tell ourselves and others. But this story is not true.

“A parent’s job is not to ensure a child never feels difficult emotions. It is their job to teach their child how to manage their feelings.”

Reddit Reacts

The Reddit post has attracted 6,700 comments—many from parents sharing their experiences.

One user said: “Yeah having kids will have you feel the highest highs and lowest lows you’ve ever experienced. My oldest is only two and a half so we’re still in the exhausted all the time stage, but I’d never trade it for anything nor have I ever regretted it.”

“It’s okay not to have kids, I hope you know that,” said another.

A third commenter wrote: “I’ve heard several times that kids bring such immense joy and that nothing else can compare. But to bring a child into this world so that YOU can feel joy? That doesn’t make sense to me.”

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.