Single 40-Year-Old Woman Told She Was Too Old to Have a Baby Does It ‘Solo’

Just before her 41st birthday, a woman in the U.K. decided to start in vitro fertilization (IVF) and become a solo mother by choice.

A year on, Emma James now has a son, Leo, and has documented her journey on Instagram, amassing millions of views on her platform (@emma.kate.james).

James had been in a serious relationship until her late 40s but had to walk away after her ex-partner realized he didn’t want children. “This was a deal-breaker,” she told Newsweek.

Initially, James stayed in the relationship, hoping he would change his mind. She felt as if he was her last chance at becoming a mother. “Following the breakdown of my relationship, my longing for a child was stronger than ever, and I felt extremely aware of 40 being just around the corner,” she said.

Inspired by a friend who became a solo mom at 44, James began exploring the idea. An appointment with a fertility specialist left her feeling terrified after being confronted with the data on fertility rates for women in their 40s.

“I was grieving the version of my life that hadn’t played out how I’d hoped. I truly thought I would be married and have children in my 30s. Instead, I was divorced at 32, recently separated and childless, while pushing 40,” James said.

She decided to take a step back and embrace life as a single, child-free woman.

“Once I was truly thriving, I started to think about becoming a solo parent, and this time it just felt right. I’d truly got to a place where I was so happy in myself, and had let go of the idea of how my life ‘should’ look, that I was just really excited to see what might be possible for me to create instead,” she said.

Her IVF journey was short, as she became pregnant on her first round. She didn’t have fertility problems or face conditions such as polycystic ovarian syndrome or endometriosis, which can affect fertility for some women.

James overhauled her diet, quit alcohol, reduced her intense exercise regime and started using supplements to prepare her body for pregnancy. She also started meditation and visualization practice.

“I used to act as if the baby I wanted was already here. This in itself changed my attitude and behavior immensely in the IVF process, because when you have a belief so strong that your baby is already here, your body tends to follow suit,” she said.

Flying to Denmark for her treatment, James retrieved three eggs, two fertilized, and one embryo was implanted—now her 4-month-old son.

“I was blessed, and by no means do I diminish the efforts of other women who have committed as heavily to the process,” James said.

James’ Instagram reel, which she posted October 19, has received over 2 million views. It has resonated with many people online, as she encouraged others to “take the leap” if they’re considering a big decision that could change their lives for the better.

“I did exactly the same and gave birth to my daughter [when] I was 40yrs old and second daughter when I was 42. The best decision in my life,” one user commented.

Another said she had her daughter at 47. Now she’s 9. The user said her motherhood journey has been pure fun and joy. “From the day she was born, it feels like I’m waking up on Christmas morning every day,” she wrote.

James said, “There are many ways I could have scared myself into not taking this leap; so many things I could have told myself to convince me that it was a bad idea. But right now, after taking that leap of faith, in the process and in myself, I am literally living out the life of my dreams from one year ago.”