Worker Accused of Ruining Colleague’s Gender Reveal Backed

A male employee has been backed online for what he asked his pregnant colleague at work.

Reddit user u/Ill_Engineer_6668 shared on the ‘Am I the A******’ (AITA) forum that, during a team meeting, his colleague announced her pregnancy. The team congratulated the mom-to-be and wished her and her growing family well. Later, in an elevator with a small group of coworkers, the man asked her if she was having a boy or girl.

“Her face kind of fell and she grimly and shortly said ‘boy’. I thought it was strange that she reacted like this, but let it go,” the Reddit user wrote in his post.

Once he was back at his desk, she approached him to express her frustration. She said that his question forced her to reveal the baby’s gender to half of the team before she was ready, spoiling her plans to announce it in her own way.

“She lectured me on how I shouldn’t be asking personal questions and walked away. I honestly couldn’t have thought this was in any way a personal question. Is it too personal? I’m a 24-year-old dude and I don’t know anything about pregnant women or babies or social customs, I guess. I was just trying to be friendly,” he wrote.

At the time of writing, the post has received more than 13,000 upvotes and over 3,500 comments from other users, many of whom thought gender reveals are mostly for the benefit of parents anyway.

“The news is exciting to the parents and maybe grandparents and close family members. No one else cares. People just ask to take an interest in the lives of other people,” one wrote.

Others agreed and thought the colleague could have handled the situation better. One commented that she could have said that she didn’t know yet or “I’ll be telling everyone soon.”

Newsweek spoke to Charlotte Bailey, a BABCP-accredited therapist (charlottebaileytherapies.com) who pointed out the concept of something being “too personal” is subjective.

While the Reddit poster viewed the question as harmless, Bailey told Newsweek that his colleague’s reaction could reflect changes in attitude toward sharing a baby’s gender.

“Views around sharing a baby’s gender have shifted over time. While it was once common to reveal it immediately, many now prefer privacy, hosting gender-reveal events or even rejecting traditional gender norms,” Bailey said.

She added that it can be difficult to set boundaries in the moment due to discomfort or confrontation but said: “Saying something like, ‘I’m keeping that private for now’ can protect what is important to us and ensure our needs are communicated and respected.”

One Reddit user thought it was a “perfectly appropriate” question to ask the pregnant colleague. “She made it awkward all by herself.”